A PRAYER FOR MY TIRED SOUL
Our loving God and Heavenly Father
I come before you tonight with a broken heart, a run-down and tired soul. I beg you for urgent help, please intervene at this moment. I can’t use the term ASAP, but maybe I am. If I’m not I ask for forgiveness. I know our “times” don't match. One human year is like a wink of an eye to You. I ask for your urgent intervention because I don’t know how to face the next minute, not even mentioning tomorrow morning. I dread waking up. The only time of my day I truly enjoy is when all the strong meds work together and I can finally fall asleep right through the pain!
I come before you tonight with a broken heart, a run-down and tired soul. I beg you for urgent help, please intervene at this moment. I can’t use the term ASAP, but maybe I am. If I’m not I ask for forgiveness. I know our “times” don't match. One human year is like a wink of an eye to You. I ask for your urgent intervention because I don’t know how to face the next minute, not even mentioning tomorrow morning. I dread waking up. The only time of my day I truly enjoy is when all the strong meds work together and I can finally fall asleep right through the pain!
No one see the tears dripping on my lap every time I’m on my own. I try to stay strong every second when I have someone by my side. Last night was such a good example when my mother phoned and I fell asleep while we were talking and Andre had to wake me up saying “your mom is till on the phone”. The first message I got this morning was “I’m sooooooo sorry you have such a bad day my child. I hope this was the last”.
I have so much judgement against my name, against my small existence. I do the best I can do for now. No one understand how tired I am of routines and all the pain that I manage to hide lately. I’m just a blade of grass between millions of others. I don’t know how You do it God, but You divide your attention between million requests and that alone is a big sign that You are the Almighty God. All of this judgement, all I came to hear of in a couple of day’s time, though its with love, swang like a whip with steel points through the air; I know it’s coming, I know what it feels like because my flesh are ripped from my body, so deep that bones are exposed. Unfortunately I break in front of people. I can't always stay strong. I don’t want to break in front of my loved ones to spare their emotions. Just like the 39 strikes that damaged Your only Son’s body where His blood dripped on the floor, visible to al.
In a way, parallels are clear. Jesus got dragged from His place of prayer to where He’s been crucified. Some Force dragged me from my place of prayer to the life many knew I’m going to live with much struggles. The words of my friend repeats itself in my head over and over and over again. Words she asked the person I love more than life itself: “You know that he will mess his pants sometimes, you will have to be the caretaker for some time. Your life is going to change drastically and his reply was “I love him, for better and for worse”. I’ll stand by his side no matter what”.
God I’m broken, I’m tired, I’m in a thousand pieces. Please intervene and make people understand that what I’m going through is not easy. It takes its toll on me. I’m tired right after I woke up and then I still have to start with all my routines, a MUST because it helps for the pain.
You bled on the cross and I know it’s to wash away all my sin. God if this is a punishment, if I’m punished for some or other reason and left with paralysis, please wash away my sin so that my life can become a normal life again.
If tears could save me, let it be. I shed more tears in 3 days than I shed in 3 years. God I always knew that there will be seasons in my life where I have to stay strong, not quit, not stop. But have I ever thought it will be to this extend? I never did God, I never did. I never knew that I will hurt this easily. A few words that’ll slaughter my soul. The struggles that will tire my soul to the extend where I feel “I can’t anymore” I knew that there will be surprises, I knew that people will criticize, I knew that people won't understand and judge and it’s happening, but I can’t quit. I love too many too much.
I understand that things can’t and won't change overnight, but I cling to the fact that miracles does exist. Life is full of ups and down. I struggle to comprehend life as a journey. Please make this clear, make me understand, even if it’s just 1%.
You revealed a powerful storm last night. I thought it was a beautiful show, but today I understand the symbolic message behind the beautiful photos I took. I understand that once I thought the storm stopped and I knew I had to go to bed because I have a busy day the next day, it started all over again. More powerful, more vibrant and with such beauty that I didn’t want to leave. I turned my back on it and watched Your show from bed as I fell asleep. While I enjoyed your show Andre took my hand while he was fast asleep and held it tight. I felt safe. Thank you for letting me experience that feeling sometimes. Your message was “you can turn your back on these situations Jacques, watch them from a distance and know they are beautiful. At the end You will see reason to Your “play”.
I have to learn in life that I have to learn to endure. There’s a force that wants us to doubt You. We have to learn to turn our back on that force and focus on your promise.
I won't walk or push away how difficult the situation might be. Persevere, Remain, Bear the Trial, Hold the course, even if it’s something that makes me cry I have to keep on going with tears running down my face and body in extreme pain. I have to make up my mind if I’m going to be a Victor or a Victim. I have to make up my mind if I’m going to fight or retreat. I have to take a stand and be persistent. I have to be persistent… Without persistence my dreams are an illusion and my plans are hoaxes. Give me Job’s courage. Though God sleighs me I will come forth as pure gold. I will not quit, I will not bend, I will not bow. I will persist that I’m able to endure this because God is with me.
Please give me the strength to endure to the end because only then it will be mine. The message from heaven is to get up. I know that You don’t manufacture junk or sponsor flops. I’m going to stand in the winner circle. All things are possible.
Make me strong dear God. Assist me to become the victor and not stay on the floor like the victim.
Give me answers to the “How do I make it through this race, How do I endure what I have to endure, How do I make it through these tough seasons of my life, how do I win when it looks like I’m loosing, How do I go up when it feels like I’m going down, how do I face every day when yesterday was so horrible, how do I get up and face tomorrow, face the day?
Everything is going to look better in the morning.
God I trust that you will make the people I love more than my own life to understand what I’m going through and look at my situation with another perspective.
I beg of you to ease my pain... take away my pain. Pain of the flesh, pain in my heart and ease my tired and tender soul of all burdens.
Lord look after each and every person I love like diamonds, the biggest ones that exist. Ease their pain because I know that we react out of the ego and not mean it. Shower them with your blessings God, Bless them indeed. Thank you God, Thank you for being so blessed, Thank you for easing the journey we embarked on 3 years ago at my place of prayer, and thank you for saving our lives, even though we have to face stormy and rainy days.
I have so much judgement against my name, against my small existence. I do the best I can do for now. No one understand how tired I am of routines and all the pain that I manage to hide lately. I’m just a blade of grass between millions of others. I don’t know how You do it God, but You divide your attention between million requests and that alone is a big sign that You are the Almighty God. All of this judgement, all I came to hear of in a couple of day’s time, though its with love, swang like a whip with steel points through the air; I know it’s coming, I know what it feels like because my flesh are ripped from my body, so deep that bones are exposed. Unfortunately I break in front of people. I can't always stay strong. I don’t want to break in front of my loved ones to spare their emotions. Just like the 39 strikes that damaged Your only Son’s body where His blood dripped on the floor, visible to al.
In a way, parallels are clear. Jesus got dragged from His place of prayer to where He’s been crucified. Some Force dragged me from my place of prayer to the life many knew I’m going to live with much struggles. The words of my friend repeats itself in my head over and over and over again. Words she asked the person I love more than life itself: “You know that he will mess his pants sometimes, you will have to be the caretaker for some time. Your life is going to change drastically and his reply was “I love him, for better and for worse”. I’ll stand by his side no matter what”.
God I’m broken, I’m tired, I’m in a thousand pieces. Please intervene and make people understand that what I’m going through is not easy. It takes its toll on me. I’m tired right after I woke up and then I still have to start with all my routines, a MUST because it helps for the pain.
You bled on the cross and I know it’s to wash away all my sin. God if this is a punishment, if I’m punished for some or other reason and left with paralysis, please wash away my sin so that my life can become a normal life again.
If tears could save me, let it be. I shed more tears in 3 days than I shed in 3 years. God I always knew that there will be seasons in my life where I have to stay strong, not quit, not stop. But have I ever thought it will be to this extend? I never did God, I never did. I never knew that I will hurt this easily. A few words that’ll slaughter my soul. The struggles that will tire my soul to the extend where I feel “I can’t anymore” I knew that there will be surprises, I knew that people will criticize, I knew that people won't understand and judge and it’s happening, but I can’t quit. I love too many too much.
I understand that things can’t and won't change overnight, but I cling to the fact that miracles does exist. Life is full of ups and down. I struggle to comprehend life as a journey. Please make this clear, make me understand, even if it’s just 1%.
You revealed a powerful storm last night. I thought it was a beautiful show, but today I understand the symbolic message behind the beautiful photos I took. I understand that once I thought the storm stopped and I knew I had to go to bed because I have a busy day the next day, it started all over again. More powerful, more vibrant and with such beauty that I didn’t want to leave. I turned my back on it and watched Your show from bed as I fell asleep. While I enjoyed your show Andre took my hand while he was fast asleep and held it tight. I felt safe. Thank you for letting me experience that feeling sometimes. Your message was “you can turn your back on these situations Jacques, watch them from a distance and know they are beautiful. At the end You will see reason to Your “play”.
I have to learn in life that I have to learn to endure. There’s a force that wants us to doubt You. We have to learn to turn our back on that force and focus on your promise.
I won't walk or push away how difficult the situation might be. Persevere, Remain, Bear the Trial, Hold the course, even if it’s something that makes me cry I have to keep on going with tears running down my face and body in extreme pain. I have to make up my mind if I’m going to be a Victor or a Victim. I have to make up my mind if I’m going to fight or retreat. I have to take a stand and be persistent. I have to be persistent… Without persistence my dreams are an illusion and my plans are hoaxes. Give me Job’s courage. Though God sleighs me I will come forth as pure gold. I will not quit, I will not bend, I will not bow. I will persist that I’m able to endure this because God is with me.
Please give me the strength to endure to the end because only then it will be mine. The message from heaven is to get up. I know that You don’t manufacture junk or sponsor flops. I’m going to stand in the winner circle. All things are possible.
Make me strong dear God. Assist me to become the victor and not stay on the floor like the victim.
Give me answers to the “How do I make it through this race, How do I endure what I have to endure, How do I make it through these tough seasons of my life, how do I win when it looks like I’m loosing, How do I go up when it feels like I’m going down, how do I face every day when yesterday was so horrible, how do I get up and face tomorrow, face the day?
- Everything is going to be alright after a while
- Finish it up with faith
- Endure the cross you’re carrying
Everything is going to look better in the morning.
God I trust that you will make the people I love more than my own life to understand what I’m going through and look at my situation with another perspective.
I beg of you to ease my pain... take away my pain. Pain of the flesh, pain in my heart and ease my tired and tender soul of all burdens.
Lord look after each and every person I love like diamonds, the biggest ones that exist. Ease their pain because I know that we react out of the ego and not mean it. Shower them with your blessings God, Bless them indeed. Thank you God, Thank you for being so blessed, Thank you for easing the journey we embarked on 3 years ago at my place of prayer, and thank you for saving our lives, even though we have to face stormy and rainy days.