When I hear SOCIAL MEDIA I experience EXPECTATION in caps (very close to anxiety).
I feel absolutely terrible to reveal some true guidelines of my social media silhouette’s posture, but I have to be honest and this will be an answer to many that I made experience rejection. The most terrible emotion you can let someone experience.
I really, honestly appreciate every hit, view, like and comment but please don’t feel I don’t take note of every personal expression and thoughts you share about the topic and contribution to any of my published content. I became ungenerous with my time, simply because I'm dealing with physical and emotional challenges myself. Major ones.
I use to have a list of activities that created moments of passion before the accident: - Time on the beach with the dogs and awesome quality-time with God - Surfing - Kayaking - Skydiving - Hiking with the dogs (with a gun on my side for baboons, which the dogs didn’t fear)
and the above changed after the accident to: - Creating Video Material inspire by showcasing normal days where subconscious messages are hauled. - Art - Writing - Daily struggle between ego and soul to regain my significant and momentous relationship and connection with God. *but even the above activities I engaged after the accident faded.
“Where the mind goes the body will follow” - this is the most difficult part the whole excersize, that what has been handed to me as a “life-lesson”, a “test”. To focus and choose where you want your mind to go so that your body can follow when you are in the situation - this is the most difficult mission you soul can endeavor to succeed in this unwritten law “body will follow”.
If you realize that “I actually got out of a trance and I hope its a dream”, you already lost the way, you are no longer on the path you should be and then another challenge; find the way back and you wish in your heart that you’d get to a road with no obstacles or a river with no falls but reality kicks in after all the day-dreaming; a journey without obstacles - get real Jacques. (Well at least one with fewer obstacles please God?)
I sound like an old vinal full of scratches when it comes to the “taking a break from Social media”, so I must change the repetition and every 3rd month tantrum with a plan, a plan that I can stick to and that’ll work for myself and my followers because at this stage I'm extremely selfish, something that's not part of my blueprint when it comes to social media. But there are limits when it comes to a share. I'm not narrowing it down to “social media share”, I'm narrowing it down to everything but...
Chat-platforms: I have this urge to long press the WhatsApp icon on my home screen until it shakes and hit the little grey x to delete the app and my answer will be YES to the pop-up window: “Are you sure you want to permanently delete WhatsApp including its contents”. But there’s no way I can really do this. Some close friends and specific departments in my business use WhatsApp groups as the primary method of communication so that all employees stay up to date simultaneously. That's the advantage of WhatsApp group posts. ...but; The “online” appears (even when I'm busy with staff). Where my irritation with the application started was when it became popular after BBM and every second person pronounced it in all the wrong ways: Whatzap, Whatzupp.... there’s many wrong pronounciations. Its Whats App people. Look at the spelling! The “Whats” “Application”. - “send me a WhatsUp with your email address” ~ noooooo, I’ll send you a sms.
I tried to customize my privacy in this app in all ways but still, that “online” part bugs me. Then there’s messenger and all the other chat platforms with the “last seen” tracker.
I moved key-staff to “WorkPlace by Facebook” I'm thrilled about the Workplace’s Work Chat app where I can communicate with my staff in private without someone send a message “why don’t respond to my messages”, because I don’t appear online *grin*.The weird phrases: “how are you”, “whats wrong”, “you are so quiet”, WMJ” are non-existent. If I engage and reply with a “I'm good and yourself”, its like stepping into a landmine on the Mexico border; at least 30 minutes of messages back and forth and sometimes the hour of productivity is a wreck after that because I actually had to give my staff one instruction... Wash reception’s curtains today, please. By the time I'm done with all the replies I have to make a note and move the ToDo to tomorrow. There are only a few people that get the concept of a quick chat. You can feel the pist-off-ness through binary when you say “I have to run, chat again soon” People feel rejected and thats not my intention. That's why a phone call will do it. If Someone doesn't answer it means they are busy and you’ll get a call as soon as that person is available. Same with a video-call. In both cases the tone of voice and facial expressions on the video call says everything. If you are busy or you have to run. you can say it without the other person experiencing rejection. Isn’t that better than the social media whats upp scenarios?
I get the message out there by means of Vlogs, Blogs and on a more shorter thought-note, Tweets which can also answer the “how are you?” Question. I honestly appreciate every hit, view, like and comment but please don’t feel I don’t take note of every personal expression, thoughts and contribution to my content.
After long hours and hard work keeping my content up to date, I realized that that's not where it end. I’d do a motivational speaking session and I'm more than willing to do a Q&A session too but I have to block a couple of days in my schedule for such an event and I’ll do that with the biggest pleasure. I just can't keep up with the every-day social platform pace. If I did this for a living, by all means, but at this stage, I have to make a living with something “real” (not that I say an online presence is not reality).
My days are packed on my own asteroid with its few inhabitants. Im dealing with my broken body, the unexplainable excruciating pain paralyzing my life and eating away on my body like cancer, our household, staff, admin, art, working on my book and when I get a gap and trying to catch up with an hour or two’s sleep when pain gets board and decide it needs company through some silly hours of the night - and some of the strongest pain-killers won't knok my visitor out or make him understand to leave on which “he/she/it” don’t get the message. I barely get a break to get in the car to go buy groceries for the house; so even our fridges are dysfunctional at this stage. Then the big fragment, actually the biggest; the slag in giving undivided attention to Spirit like I use to, the time I had for Him. I'm trying, I'm really trying and I'm busy getting there making Spirit a bigger part of my activities and engaging in such a manner.
I hope this makes it clear why I cant attend to all my messages and comments. Please, it's nothing personal. It is what it is; TIME!! There are words repeating themselves over and over “❛Thank You❜ for being such an inspiration”, “❛Thank You❜ for changing my perspective in life”, “Thank You for making me appreciate again” And there are a few more lines and THAT makes me feel terrible when I cant be there or don’t get a message out there that can make a difference, that Of which I believe I'm appointed for.
Taking a back-track to my “Paralyzed Journey” mission, which includes a presence on basically all platforms; It started as just a thought, the cover of different mediums of messages that showcase my expedition, the “my book of my life” I am extremely blessed having all these followers, exactly what I asked for, that of which I knew will be the start of making a huge difference in two main categories: - Have gratitude, don’t take anything for granted - Everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for I thought I'm ready for this. Am I? I never knew that there will be so many people in need, desperate for a bit of inspiration and/or guidance, to give them hope and show the world out there that tradigy can be overcome and that Paralyzed Journey would grow at a radical pace that it would need more attention I thought would be enough, a couple of hours and here and there that need be.
I’ll stop posting content on my personal Facebook “Profile” and I’ll eventually close it down, so hit the like on www.facebook.com/paralyzedjourney/ and subscribe to my newsletter at www.jacquesviljoen.co.za
Whenever I hop onto Facebook or Twitter for a specific reason or see what's happening on Paralyzed Journey's page or news feed I find myself falling deeper and deeper in a trance; when I snap back to reality I realize what I'm busy with: I'm looking at the profile of a person selling an old vehicle or something really weird or odd OR like last night, browsing through a profile of a lady who made 10 spelling mistakes in a 3 line comment. Sometimes I entirely forgot why I actually opened one of the platforms (Facebook, Twitter, etc)
I have self-rule, simply because my time is so limited, I have tonight before I go to bed when smoking my last cigarette to browse through the news-feeds. Through-out the day I'm posting or tweeting "life" and try to reply to every single comment because that person took time to "not only" hit the like button, but to actually engage in my post, sharing feeling, because that's exactly what it is... A comment is a share of a feeling (no matter what feeling), it portrays some kind of emotion.
That's where I'm getting at - EMOTIONS BEHIND INTERACTION on Social Media
There's a science behind everyone's story why a person is so glued to Social Media. There's a ton of psychological research behind what it is that makes these's platforms so attractive in the first place, and what it exactly is making us like, post and share.
This was intense research, so it's not my perception: Lots of studies have worked toward figuring out what exactly goes on in our brains when we're participating in social media. (This study was focused on facebook). A recent study discovered a strong connection between Facebook and the brain's "reward" center, called the Nucleus Accumbens. This are processes rewarding feelings about things like food, sex, money and social acceptance. Take a moment and think about your reaction to a post that didn't get as many likes you'd expect, OR even deeper than that; not receiving a reaction from a specific person you'd wanted. I had "family", blocking me because I didn't respond to a birthday post. Imagine the turmoil in that chick's head. Let me not side-step now... Back to the Nucleus Accumbens; When we get positive feedback on Facebook, the feeling lights up this specific part of our brain (similar to money, sex, food... imagine). The greater intensity of our Facebook use, the greater the reward - understand why people are glued to their phones? Another fascinating study recorded physiological reactions like pupil dilation in volunteers as they looked at their Facebook accounts to find that browsing Facebook can evoke what they call a "flow state", the feeling you get when you're totally and happily engrossed in a project or new skill!
Why we "LIKE" and the GAME behind the "LIKE"
Before I elaborate on the WHY.... I've been tracking a few people that engage in myself and my fiance's Social Media presence: There's friends with a kind of "he's mine" attitude, or "I'll show you how I feel about you through my LIKES". There's quite a few players like that on Facebook (I can't conduct my study on Twitter because Andre doesn't have a Twitter account). Few examples to make it clear. I'll call the person x. X like's each and every single post Andre post. X won't like a photo of the two of us, or a piece I wrote about us. In the comments section, X will like all the comments, except mine. Catching my drift about social media games and emotion behind likes? These games aren't of any provoke from my side, it's just extremely interesting and adds some value to my studies.
The most easily recognized currency of a Social Media Platform is a "like". Comments are of lower value, but also a "currency". "Like" is a way to give positive feedback or connect with things you care about or have interest in.
What makes us like, or not like a particular status, photo or page? Is there a method to liking? There is:
t's a quick NOD..... Like is a wordless nod of support in a loud room. It's the easiest of yesses, I agrees, and me too's. Ever felt guilty for not liking something or a post of someone? To me it feels like if I DON"T like a particular post or someone's post that the person could translate the NOT LIKE as a disapproval or a withholding of affection. If I don't like it feels as though my ability to communicate had been somehow hobbled. The "Like" function saves me so much comment-typing. To affirm something about ourselves is one element of Social Media that we may not realize, and that is how orten we use the "like" to affirm something about ourselves or about a particular situation of your life you share.