BLOODTHIRSTY FANGS WHEN I'M HAPPY

FRIEND: "How are you doing?"
JACQUES:  “Im doing good Thank You”
FRIEND:  “How’s the pain?"
JACQUES:  “I have had so many good days, I sometimes wonder what the pain that Im complaining about feels like”
FRIEND: ”Im so glad to hear”

'Give it a few hours and I have fangs deep in my flesh, so deep that it touches emotions too!'

I’ve got a vicious phantom dog with bloodthirsty fangs and intense, powerful, vigour eyes hanging around me all the time.  It lurks around, behaving in a sneaky and secretive matter, waiting to ambush the good in my life when I express the words “NO PAIN” 

There’s no hesitation in it’s behavior to take me down if the words “I don’t have any pain” cross my lips.  Once it grabbed you it locks it’s jaw for an unknown period of time.  I’m still trying to figure out what encourages the bloodthirsty phantom to let go and let me be in my radiance; the combination of good health and happiness.  

People close to me know by now not to ask anything relating to my pain.  If the banshee shadow hear the word pain, his lips raise to show his fangs and raise his ears, taking note of every word I say and attack within seconds; sucking dry every bit of happiness, ambition, enthusiasm, hope and reassurance I got somewhere, every time that reminds me “You will be okay, stay strong”. 

​A couple of days a friend, in conversation asked me “and the pain”?  It felt like I’m loosing color in my face.  
​
 Picture
That’s where it all started, again…  Non-stop for over 48 hours.  Pain and the negativity playing me like a sling-ball.  I have to break the chain after a downward spiral.  I’ve had non-stop pain… non-stop…


​ A small 2nd degree burn with a heat-pad that caused major stress and I woke up on the floor with a multi-plug in my face and a neck that hurts like hell, with my bum in the air, paralyzed legs twisted in a way you’d never thought limbs could twist. I slept in that position for about an hour, must be because when I put my phone on charge I saw the time.  I’ve got no idea how this happened, I can’t remember.  I just know that I must have fallen out of my chair.  

 
I’m not reacting to the question “How’s your pain” ever again.


​