fill the blanks...It's all about your interpretation and approach:
The way you're reading and interpreting all written content of this website and feeds depends on your current mood, environment and space you find yourself in at this moment of time in life, directly (physically) and indirectly (subconsciously). It might sound crazy, it might be attractive, maybe a turn-off.... Ever been in a mood to read a good book rather than being on the road to a holiday destination?... Rather enjoy time with friends than in bed watching a movie? Everything boils down to: the mood and space you find yourself in... Most people will see the following as arrogant or narcissistic... Personally I think that most human beings wish for the "being straight forward" characteristics being part of their existence... These characteristics aren't necessarily to be seen as negative.... |
Most of the statements and feeds on my site might sound a bit forward, but it's good that I'd rather be honest, giving you a perspective and filling out blank spaces about me and MY perspective in life, rather than an internet image when you punch in Jacques Viljoen and click on the Google
image tab (and who knows, if you tend to have a bi-focal problem in life, you might choose the wrong Jacques and judge me, unknowingly for a statement he makes regarding the fuel price and N1 tollgates) - Rather visit my photo gallery wearing those bi-focal lenses (if needed) - (I hopethat you've got a nice frame - not the 70's plastic or 80's Lanie-gold molded frames) Suppose each of us has our preferences, do's and dont's, of course everything out of our own frame of mind, and the influence of the way we've been raised and the social consciousness of a group we were brought up in. I believe there's no right or wrong, but a situation or statement works for you or doesn't! Your wrong is not necessarily a no-go or wrong for the next person. Everything is debatable (not including the extremes like taking someone's life or the best trait of the century, using your "privates" somewhere else rather than at home). |
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Always remember: You have to give up something good, whether it left your life or you made the choice, to receive something better in return. (That was the wise words of my sister with my first BIG heartache) We don’t always see the “greater, better quality, more clear picture” when we find ourselves in a heartache situation.
THE "JACQUEQ" EXPERIENCE I can share with you how I experience “heartbreak”: It’s a burning sensation, not physically like heartburn, but just a sensation that feels like it absorbs all the oxygen entering and numbs your feelings, approaches and outlooks towards life out there… I get the feeling of being constant wooziness, weariness and fatigue! Physical pain with a tight chest, nervous stomach and the list can go on; add your own to it if you've experienced this state in life! To me it’s my mind bullshitting my body to (what we think) enter a state of unawareness and deal with emotions subconsciously. I must say that this technique works for me, THEN I suffer from the opposed symptoms, terrible insomnia!. Some people say that a afternoon-nap makes them exhibit aggravation and irritation for the rest of the day. Some people might have had a romantic relationship that ended before they were ready. Others might have strong feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe a person feels sad or angry when a close friend ends or abandons the friendship. How long will it be before you can get through your daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without sensing that knot in the pit of your stomach, and without dwelling on what went wrong? If these are some of the questions you are asking yourself, you are not alone. If you've just had a break-up, disappointment or Disillusionment and are feeling down, you're not alone as I've mentioned above! Just about everyone experiences these emotions at some point, and many then have to deal with heartbreak — a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. Millions of poems and songs have been written about having a broken heart and wars have even been fought because of heartbreak. A broken heart can cause such an intense reaction that you may feel your life has been completely stripped of meaning. Jobs, hobbies, and friends may no longer hold any joy. In fact, some of us even experience “Time heals all wounds” is something we have all heard over the years, but do you really have to wait for time to heal these wounds? The best song to describe the emotion behind these wounds: Do yourself a favour and listen to "Exit Wounds" by "The Script"! I can FULLY relate to this whole song except the line: "Your mouth is moving, I don't hear a word" |
"Exit Wounds" by "The Script"
My hands are cold, my body's numb Im still in shock, what have you done? My head is pounding, my visions blurred Your mouth is moving, I don't hear a word And I hurt so bad, that I search my skin For the entry point, where love went in And ricoshad and bounced around And left a hole, when you walked out I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room Can anybody help me with these Exit Wounds? I don't know how much more love this heart can lose And I'm dying, dying from the Exit Wounds Wooounds! Where their leaving, the scars you're keeping Exit wounds Marks of battle, they still feel raw A million pieces of me, on the floor I'm damaged goods, for all to see Now who would ever wanna, be with me? I've got all the baggage, drink the pills Yeah this is living but without the will I'm backing out, I'm shutting down You left a hole, when you walked out yeah I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room Can anybody help me with these Exit Wounds? I don't know how much more love this heart can lose And I'm dying, dying from the Exit Wounds Wooounds! Where their leaving, the scars you're keeping Exit wounds Lose your clothes and show your scars that's who you are [x4] Marks of battle, they still feel raw A million pieces of me, on the floor I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room Can anybody help me with these Exit Wounds? I don't know how much more love this heart can lose And I'm dying, dying from the Exit Wounds Wooounds! Where their leaving, the scars you're keeping Exit wounds |
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What Exactly Is Heartbreak?
From different circumstances and that's what makes this emotion easily recognized by nearly every person on the planet. Although the causes may be different, the feeling of loss is the same — whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness emptiness, and sadness. Heartbreak is more than just an emotional defeat; to some the pain is very real. At one point or another, everyone must experience this mind numbing feeling (unless you confine yourself to a house and never interact with even a pet) but that's not the norm and you're probably not reading this section on my website if you've had that kind of sheltered life. The pain is real and there's no other way to describe how bad it really hurts than to name it heartbreak. Its a longing for the past and the pain of feeling completely empty and abandoned. It makes it hard to get up in the morning and to get through the day, but all wounds are inevitably healed through time, and thus you hope for the future to approach quicker. How Can I Deal With How I Feel? You might feel: "Jacques, this is a bunch of crap, what do you know?" - I'm talking out of personal experience that happened to me more than once and tried to remember what eased my emotions to share and help you! Most people will tell you you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way. If you're experiencing these feelings, there are things you can do to lessen the pain. SCREAM: Let It Out - TRY ROAD-RAGE Share your feelings. Some people find that sharing their feelings with someone they trust — someone who recognizes what they're going through — helps them feel better. That could mean talking over all the things you feel, even having a good cry on the shoulder of a comforting friend or family member. If you feel like someone can't relate to what you're going through or is dismissive of your feelings, find someone more sympathetic to talk to. (OK, we know that sharing feelings can be tough for guys, but you don't necessarily have to tell the football team what you're going through. It might make you more comfortable if you find a family member like your mom or sister. Don't be afraid to cry. Going through heartache can be really tough, and getting some of those raw emotions out can be a big help. We know this is another tough one for guys, but there's no shame in crying now and then. No one has to see you do it — you don't have to start blubbering in public..... Just a find a place where you can be alone, like crying into your pillow at night or in the shower when you're getting ready for the day and get those surplus emotions out! Be Kind to Yourself Remember what's good about you. This one is really important. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends or someone close to you to remind you. Take good care of yourself. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise (YEAY RIGHT JACQUES - I'm such a good example and now I'm typing this) regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost. Do the things you normally enjoy. Whether it's seeing a movie or going out for dinner or like me; I deal with emotions writing, do something fun to take your mind off the negative feelings for a while. Keep yourself busy. Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened — working things through in our minds is all part of the healing process — it just means you should focus on other things too. Give yourself time. It takes time for sadness to go away. Almost everyone thinks they won't feel normal again, but the human spirit is amazing — and the heartbreak almost always heals after a while. But how long will that take? That depends on what caused your heartbreak, how you deal with loss, and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things. Getting over a heartache can take a couple of days to many weeks —and sometimes even months. MORE ON THE PHYSICAL "TAKE CARE" I emphasize this as its of high importance: Get rid of any and everything that reminds you of your previous situation... This totally freaks me out... "Out of sight, out of mind" Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol and drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People who drink, do drugs, or cut themselves to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. They're not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness. |
There's that kind of love that is so overwhelming perfect, passionate
and meaningful, a love that you have never before been able to achieve. This is the love I'm going to ponder on throughout the rest of this page, but before I can continue on, you must first understand why we as humans are constantly searching to fulfill this emotion. A part of the desire comes from what we find most joyful in life. If you search for this answer, and look upon previous actions objectively, it's simple to say that we are satisfied by making others happy. We receive complete satisfaction from doing things for others, and this feelin increases with the intensity of love we feel towards that specific person or thing. When you lose someone you love, you have lost the sense of purpose acquired by the relationship between them and yourself. You lose the purpose you felt when doing simple things to make them smile, and making yourself joyful in return. The cycle should continue endlessly, but as we know that could only occur in a perfect world, which this is not. Heartbreak happens, and it changes who we are for the better (in most cases) and so will it be for the rest of our lives and next. "We of course equate the pain of loss to the intensity of the love, but that is not what is behind the pain. The more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your sense of purpose because when you do something for just anyone and they do not appreciate it; your sense of purpose is not completely satisfied. It requires seeing who you are helping, and their appreciation to make it complete." Continuous searching comes from our need not only to self imply a purpose of being, but also to find the "one" that will make us feel needed, appreciated, and most importantly, well, loved. We act in some silly ways just to be able to have a someone that we can call our own, if you can't relate to it I can... It's a Jacque-sism: We act crazy, we do stupid things, and we make regrettable mistakes, but hey, that's just falling in love. We start picturing the rest of days together, share every ounce of pointless information we can recall, and create a bond greater than ever perceived, all before a thought of those three little words comes to mind. The Physical Pain Anyone who's ever gone through the emotional pain of a heartbreak more often than not can express the experience through the form of some type of physical pain. Emotions affect physical health in more ways than many realize, but how does the body physically feel the emotional loss; in other words, what is it that brings pain to the heartbreak? "Pain is the way the mind responds to trouble inside the body," "Emotion is the same way. Whether you feel love or sadness is also a response to something you feel outside the body. With pain it is a closer-in response, to something inside the body, but it is a response in an attempt to learn about and motivate recovery." The depression caused by heartbreak creates a barrier that can prevent us from feeling and experiencing life to the fullest, in all aspects. Symptoms vary by individual and range from withdrawal from society to physical sickness and pain. You lose a part of yourself when connections are lost, and its not far-fetched to say that you feel completely empty inside. There's an ache, a deep ache that erupts from the inside of our bodies longing for the past. WHY the PAST - visualize and dream about the future, just like you do with the past memories, BECAUSE there's something bigger in hold for your and you can look forward to it! Although most pain of heartbreak is not that severe, it still has a profound effect on daily living. Symptoms of heartache might include loss of appetite, insomnia, headaches, stomachaches, nausea, a ton of tears, occasional nightmares, alcohol/substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, panic attacks, loss of interest, fatigue, loneliness and hopelessness. |
STAGES OF HEARTACHE:
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Once again: My experience - might not be yours:
To me it feels that someone who is dealing with heartache follows patterns similar to those of the stages of death (hahaha - it's funny yes) - Lets not be too serious here!!!! 1 Shock and Denial: You may deny the reality of the situation; this provides emotional protection from feeling overwhelmed by the situation. The shock of loss allows a state of emptiness to move in, clouding most judgment. 2 Pain and Guilt: After the shock wears off it becomes replaced with suffering and unbearable pain. Regret for things you did wrong, or things that you weren’t able to do with this person adds to further tears. Life feels chaotic during this time, and its best to openly discuss feelings and stray from bottling up your emotions 3 Anger and Bargaining: Lashing out is a common form of attempting to release all unspoken emotions. This is the stage where the “why why why?!” questioning comes in. The plead for returned love run rapid, trying to bargain with fate or with the person who was just lost. |
4 Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness: Like everyone else in this situation, a period of sadness clouds and absorb your entire sense of being, leaving feelings of emptiness. This feeling occurs when you finally realize and accept the magnitude of your loss. Isolation from people is exceedingly normal, and offers a time to reflect on the past. 5 Acceptance and an Upward Turn: The feelings of depression lift slightly and life becomes possible to survive without that person so deeply intertwined with each activity. The days are a little easier to shuffle through, and you see the possibility of continuation. The reality of the situation is fully accepted and, although happiness may not return for some time, the ability to move forward has occurred. 6 Realization: He was a ENORMOUS and HUGE asshole |