Jacques Viljoen
  • HOME
  • NOVEL: SHADES OF GAY
  • Fear attached to Everything
  • A Cosmic Secret
  • Bloodthirsty Fangs when I'm Happy
  • Landing strip...
  • It's Life BLOG
  • SOULMATE explained
  • Public Video Diary
  • Skydiving - FreeSpirit
  • Get to know by SEEING
    • December 2016
  • Rehabilitated: "Why are you still single?"
  • The "Calorie-Obsessed" Guy
  • "being okay" with "being alone"
  • Magazine Articles
  • Relationships
  • HeartAche
  • In LovE
  • Emotional Detachment Techniques
  • Just not "that" into you
  • My Music
  • Baggage: our Historical Gear
  • Bit of 'mind'
  • 300 Second Sermon
  • Polls
  • Living in the NOW
  • Family
  • The Blame-Game and feeling Victimized
  • A MOTHER'S LOVE
  • Walking through your Fear
  • TIMING can be everything
  • A prayer for my tired soul
  • Silent Abuse - A Dangerous Game
  • HOME
  • Podcasts
  • Daily Motivational Quotes
  • Daily Motivational Quotes
  • Archive

"He's just not "THAT" into you !"



Karma is a devious little Sh!t: 
What you give is what you get in return!  
Be careful, it might bite you in the ass. Be honest, open and sincere.  
Don’t reject people as it’s every human being’s biggest fear!

Picture
Experience what I mention below…   RUN

I know you hate this phrase. I hate it more. Mostly, because it's true: even when we are living in complete denial about it. Sorry, but if he's not calling you, it's not because all of his fingers were chopped off in a freak text messaging accident or he's in a coma somewhere. It's because he doesn't like you or doesn't like you enough to call you.

You have to be aware that even though you may be enjoying an LSD-like love high in your own dimension, your new significant other may be feeling something entirely different.

Whether his romantic-, charming-style; (I’m intellectually there and I’ve stepped right into this turd on a big lawn in brought daylight where I had ample space to move around) it's just leaving you confused, frustrated and wondering what's really going on in his mind.

STOP immediately.  It will end out on emotional wreckage!

Some guys have their own issues to work out… and unfortunately, someone else get caught up in being the medium through which the guy works them out.


(Still adding points… Will notify when updated)

Feel free to mail me your point to add to the list so that we can assist people to not experience heartache!

He takes forever to respond to texts or phone calls

It’s 2012.  We’ve got so many means of communication.  I recall the revolution of communication.  We all recall: Landline > Cellphone > Email > Sms > Mxit (never had that one – always had the thought of pedophiles and school children using it) > MSN > Skype > BBM & WhatsApp (If you don’t have one of those applications you’re either over 60 or not into commination),  

A Smartphone is like an oxygen-tank to an emphysema-ist… (*). I can understand if you send an email and he takes hours as I’ve always got a red circle above the envelope on my phone with a count of always 50+.  A nice feature, which I’m in LOVE with, is the “D & R” on your BBM or the “Last Seen or Online” feature of WhatsApp. Obvious if he’s been online recently after you sent your message.
BlackBerry owners got an involuntary reflex when a flashing orange light is noted. Most people get confused; it might be someone else’s phone spotted somewhere. 
A simple “How are you” that goes unnoted for hours, sometimes only a reply in the evening after the message has been sent the morning and the reply “Sorry, I’ve been very busy today” means that you’re not high on his priority list. Texting is so non-committal.  You can reply or even start a conversation while you waiting for a phone-call, using the elevator, between appointments or waiting for your computer to start-up. If he’s ignoring your text or call he’s probably ignoring you. 
He doesn’t reply on calls or text after-hours…  Says it all, doesn’t it? No need to explain the silence

He’s acting sketchy trying to hide his text-diarrhea.  

(You experienced when you started chatting that he’s got IBS, what makes it different now?) You’re suppose to be the mixture of Imodium and Buscopan. 
Everybody’s got bouts of chronic phone attachment behavior. (I wonder if it can be classified as OCD?) He goes to the toilet.  On his way there you see that he’s quickly checking his messages. He leaves the phone face down (who does that these days?).  His neurotic behavior is a sign of hiding something.  He’s not invested in your relationship if he never answers the phone in your presence.
I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I tell myself he’s been chatting with a few people at once and trying to scale down conversation made with the other candidates on the list. Let’s not justify this behavior.  He can spend quality time with you when you’re together.

He doesn’t like committing to plans; set up dates and cancel last minute.
You make a suggestion or when he’s indecisive of when to meet for the first time and you try to set it up be sure of the fact that you must be in the position, that of a pastor standing with a cross in his hand trying to block or chase evil… (boil the shit out of water, make it holy and sprinkle him if you get the chance to meet him eventually). 
I experienced a situation of one guy with a very busy life.  Date one has been set up about 3 days in advance. The afternoon of the exciting day I got a call; something came up. Fair enough.  We moved the date to the coming weekend.  An hour before I left home after taking a shower, being very excited I got a TEXT, not a call that the gastro-bug infested his body. 


First Dates
You looking you best, arrive at the restaurant.  He looks like shit.  SKIP.  Physical appearance is one of the first impressions before you get to know the guy’s in’s and out’s.  If he can’t put effort into that be assured that if he can’t give himself attention, what will the extend of looking after you be worth?
You make his hormones bubble out of his sleeves….  His pupils are dilating in conversation.  The natural response of being into someone will be a phone call or at least a text to say “I enjoyed spending time with you.  Would like to do it again.”  If you’re the first to do that, cool, no reply: take out the holy water and sprinkle it on yourself, take a laxative and burn the underwear you’ve worn and say the words “I make peace with the fact that I wasted an hour of my precious time in the company of a jerk” out loud.

Mr Afraid to Commitment: He utters: “I’m not ready for a serious or LTR”

SHUT THE Ffffffff (front door).  Why did he agree or ask you on a date? Friendship? Or he’s just a horny bugger (sometimes I will fall for that one – not that I’m promiscuous or walking with my genitals AND my heart on my sleeve).
There’s a list of possible lines: 1. I’ve got a very busy life
2. I’m scared of getting hurt

Don’t waste your time trying to convince him otherwise, because his mind is already set.  Stop showering your precious energy on him, rather spend it on someone who appreciates and who’d like a connection--like that friend who slaps you into back into reality (and not the one who tells you that he'll come around, eventually.)
I've been in this situation before, waiting it out like an idiot. Needless to say, I have yet to see a ring on it.



He talks about his ex frequently. 
It's fine to bring up the ex once in a while under very neutral contexts, maybe trying to explain your past briefly.  The question: “How long have you been single and why did your relationship came to and end” can be seen within boundaries. Talking incessantly about prior relationships is tacky and might also imply that there are still some unresolved issues lingering in his head, whether it's rage, resentment or doubt. This rule applies to you too. Do not mention your previous love life and its contents, including: pet names, restraining orders or penis size. 
If he mentions the ex and it bothers you, speak up and say something: "The effective way of handling this is to ask him if he knows how he feels when he brings up the subject of his ex? Does he feel hurt? Does he feel angry?" If his problems persist, keep in mind that you don't have to.
In the beginning of a relationship, each party should ideally have a clean slate and be on their best behavior, instead of showcasing their baggage like a badge of honor. 

He won’t make plans in advance.

Sure, it might be a little much to expect your new boyfriend to commit to a weekend getaway nine months in the future, but if he’s hesitant to agree to dinner next weekend or a friend’s wedding next month, he’s probably not invested in the relationship. If he’s “keeping his options open,” then you’re not his priority. If he’s into you, he won’t have a problem adding a few future dates into his calendar.

Click 2 Send your "he's not into you"
  • HOME
  • NOVEL: SHADES OF GAY
  • Fear attached to Everything
  • A Cosmic Secret
  • Bloodthirsty Fangs when I'm Happy
  • Landing strip...
  • It's Life BLOG
  • SOULMATE explained
  • Public Video Diary
  • Skydiving - FreeSpirit
  • Get to know by SEEING
    • December 2016
  • Rehabilitated: "Why are you still single?"
  • The "Calorie-Obsessed" Guy
  • "being okay" with "being alone"
  • Magazine Articles
  • Relationships
  • HeartAche
  • In LovE
  • Emotional Detachment Techniques
  • Just not "that" into you
  • My Music
  • Baggage: our Historical Gear
  • Bit of 'mind'
  • 300 Second Sermon
  • Polls
  • Living in the NOW
  • Family
  • The Blame-Game and feeling Victimized
  • A MOTHER'S LOVE
  • Walking through your Fear
  • TIMING can be everything
  • A prayer for my tired soul
  • Silent Abuse - A Dangerous Game
  • HOME
  • Podcasts
  • Daily Motivational Quotes
  • Daily Motivational Quotes
  • Archive