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The Life-Changing Event
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It's all about your interpretation and approach:
The way you're reading and interpreting all written content of this website and feeds depends on your current mood, environment and space you find yourself in at this moment of time in life, directly (physically) and indirectly (subconsciously). It might sound crazy, it might be attractive, maybe a turn-off.... Ever been in a mood to read a good book rather than being on the road to a holiday destination?... Rather enjoy time with friends than in bed watching a movie?
Everything boils down to: the mood and space you find yourself in...
Most people will see the following as arrogant or narcissistic... Personally I think that most human beings wish for the "being straight forward" characteristics being part of their existence... These characteristics aren't necessarily to be seen as negative....
Most of the statements and feeds on my site might sound a bit forward, but it's good that I'd rather be honest, giving you a perspective and filling out blank spaces about me and MY perspective in life, rather than an internet image when you punch in Jacques Viljoen and click on the Google
image tab (and who knows, if you tend to have a bi-focal problem in life, you might choose the wrong Jacques and judge me, unknowingly for a statement he makes regarding the fuel price and N1 tollgates) - Rather visit my photo gallery wearing those bi-focal lenses (if needed) - (I hopethat you've got a nice frame - not the 70's plastic or 80's Lanie-gold molded frames)
Suppose each of us has our preferences, do's and dont's, of course everything out of our own frame of mind, and the influence of the way we've been raised and the social consciousness of a group we were brought up in. I believe there's no right or wrong, but a situation or statement works for you or doesn't! Your wrong is not necessarily a no-go or wrong for the next person. Everything is debatable (not including the extremes like taking someone's life or the best trait of the century, using your "privates" somewhere else rather than at home).
I don't see myself as a gay guy, rather a person with alternative sexual preferences! I believe that it's a label handed out and we as gay people took it and made it our own. "I've got a friend and he's gay!" is being used all the time by people in my life when I'm not around! Out there people have a perspective about the so-called "gay" community, if we can call it a community! Do you recall anyone stating the "heterosexual or straight" community in everyday life when discussing someone or a group of people? They wont be referred to as that because they are "normal" according to social standards. If you've heard anyone referring to an individual or group of people as straight "You know John, the straight guy?"; treasure those words, blog, Facebook, twitter and write them down in black permanent marker behind an expensive and rare painting, yes, the one in the entrance hall of your house!
If you're a gay person reading through my website, this one's for you: Anyone ever said to you "He's just like you", or rather in afrikaans "Hy's net soos jy"? WTF? Is he of the same race? Same shoe size? Certain personality traits? Come on, we all know what the someone is referring to!
I can't imagine myself with a woman as my life-partner. I'm sure it will look as strange as it feels! Not one morning except for the "coming-out" and "transition" period (I call it that) I've woken up feeling or thinking "I am gay"....
The person I'm visualizing who will manifest and join each others lives:
We will cross each others paths and I will invite him into my life IF he's got the above mentioned pathology of "being gay" sorted, as 90% (*whisper*, I said 90% just to make it look okay and be acceptable for society; I actually mean 99% - and there will be the someone reading this who's a bit delusional thinking that he's not part of the "90%" and got all his shit sorted)
Be level with life, accepting and experience who and what you are! If there's that bit of confusion and pathology surfacing, the quality of life and a relationship can't be maxed to it's full potential! There will always be projection of some kind towards people close to the person or towards life that manifests in weird ways which may include anger, jealousy, immaturity, instability and the list can carry on!
Walking down the Relationship Red Carpet
Be in sync with yourself and live in the moment of now and you'll be mostly sorted and I believe that that's the point where you are ready to invite someone into your price space and life and if the feeling is mutual it will be a red carpet relationship!
Don't open fire on a Train transporting 101 Fuel Trucks
I can add the "feeling lonely" to the fact of having your pathology sorted out in life for the simple reason that you've grown on all levels to see through people and realize that they've got the length of a train with 101 petrol tankers hooked on a few enjins (because major power is needed to get this whole thing moving (so is to get the drama started and maintain it)), heading for Africa where a hi-jack with machine guns is a possibility and we all know what happens when a bullet hits a petrol tanker!
Who can allow this in life?
Abundant support will be provided if you made peace with the "being gay" aspect and vibrate love and respect towards human beings in life!
Drama to survive
If you proceed with unresolved pathology a train-smash and repetitive patterns will be the outcome. There's always the example of a dear friend who divorced her husband and next moment she set herself up for the same shit.... She thrives on drama, she needs it to survive. Rather time-out and take part in your own growth process and enjoy life while working through it!
Winner of Relationship Academy Awards - Category: Growth
I've been single years! Two ridiculous short relationships can't be counted or spoken of as a relationship. It was simply trials to see where I'm at in life! All these years gave me more than enough "grow" and "me" time. I'm grateful for each and every relationship I had in the past as it shaped and carved me into what I am today and I've been the winner of the "Relationship Academy Awards - Category: Growth" and received the best price I make use of every day, not a statue on the shelf, but tools, mechanisms, self-development skills and spiritual growth into being satisfied with myself and this dimension I find myself in.
The term "settle" is used commonly! Any other suggestions of better terminology that can replace the common word? Inhabit; Stay, Mend? Everyone must be rewarded with a all in one deal: a best friend, companion and wonderful partner!
No matter how straight-acting or strong, the fantasy (so is my own), or so I believe: The need and wish for having someone special and stable in your life: You have to choose between forever and always!
I achieved success (not that there's any limits, but situation that I'm comfortable in life), and there will be more to come on all levels. I'm not referring to only materialistic events and achievements, but including emotional and intellectual growth. There's a time for everything in life, and I've noticed that it's time to give the emotional and relationship slice of the life-pie a change and making it last by choice and handle situations with maturity (think most of the guys at the age of 30 reached that point that the "joll" phase can be of the past and a loving steady relationship can be entertained which can be just as much or even more fun and satisfying in life and stimulate us on a much deeper and broader multi-levelled area than drinking, dancing and one-night stands which says it all... "one night" and a forward motion in another direction is expected!
I like home... I'd rather be at home enjoying the company of good friends or even myself than being in a club or pub! As of the creation process; we create a space for ourselves where we feel "at home, safety and comfort". I believe that those traits can be offered by a human being, and that person can enhance whatever is currently "working" for you! During the day we're all busy but in the evening when the body needs to get itself together for the next day: Any better suggestions than a good and loving partner who's making you feel safe, at ease and at home? All the tools have been given to us!
Fire-Places and Red Wine
Winter times, fire-places and red wine (it sounds
like a cliche, but I enjoy it - you thing 4 fire-places is enough? The best
positioned one: facing the bed with two comfy chairs infront of it!