the Blame-Game and feeling Victimized
We cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready.
As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. Being victimized when you understand the ego-triangle causes big heartache and cause individuals to withdraw and start to live in their minds again. Receiving mixed signals seriously messes up what you feel and experience within yourself and thats the most dangerous emotions as thats a time-bomb. You dont press the activation button yourselve; the other person, exhibiting and causing these mixed emotions through giving you a yes or no in the same paragraph are the one activating it and the countdown varies on the intensity of how far you being pushed and how intense you experience emotions
. If we had a difficult childhood for instance, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don't truly feel responsible for. We may blame someone else for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind beacsue they did the best they could at that moment in time, and we are not to blame for our partner's bad behavior.
Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.
We do this by forgiving someone that fe believe did something bad to us, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated.
In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of God, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.